Almost everyone has a friend they drifted from over money. When friendship and finances mix, emotions double, because more than the amount, it's the sting of "that's how they treated me" that eats away at the bond.
It's the attitude that hurts, not the money
Worse than an unpaid loan is a friend who seems to have no intention of paying it back. The borrower, meanwhile, feels hurt by "do friends really keep score like this?" The same situation reads as "they betrayed my trust" to one and "they changed over money" to the other.
Before lending, only as much as you can lose
Before lending a friend money, first ask yourself: "Can I keep this relationship even if I never get this back?" Beyond that, you're not lending, you're wagering the friendship. If it feels like too much, "I can't spare it right now" is better for the friendship.
If it's already gone sideways, separate feeling from fact
Character judgments like "you were always this kind of person" make it irreversible. State only the facts, plainly: "The 300 I lent you in March is still out; if something's up, let me know." You're giving them room to explain, not excuse.
Splitting bills and gift money, rules protect friendships
Constantly tallying who paid more is exhausting. Set rules in advance, "we take turns on meals, split big things down the middle", and there's nothing to feel bad about in the moment. Put rules around money and the friendship gets free of it.
If the two of you can't tell who's right, it can help to lay out both stories and see them objectively. Strip out the emotion and often the real problem wasn't the money but the hurt of "they didn't get how I felt."
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