This Friend: Cut Them Off, or Keep Trying?

An old friend, but you always leave drained. Cutting them off feels wrong out of loyalty; putting up with it feels like you're the only one losing. A few criteria can clear up the fog.

What relationships you consider cutting have in common

They're one-sided. Contact and favors always flow one way; they ignore your hard times and only reach out when they need something. If meeting leaves you depleted rather than lighter, your heart often already knows.

Why it's still hard to end

"We've known each other so long" holds you back. But shared years aren't a reason to keep enduring going forward. Ask whether the good person from back then is the same person in front of you now.

Before cutting off, have you actually said it?

Many relationships end quietly without the resentment ever being spoken. Your friend may not have known. Say "this hurt me" once, and how they respond is the real material for your decision.

Worth keeping vs. worth ending

• If they own it and try to change when you speak up → worth keeping
• If they blame you, "you're too sensitive" → sign to end
• If they only feel taller by putting you down → sign to end
• If you can't like who you are around them → sign to end

Cutting off isn't hatred, it's adjusting distance, and it needn't be a dramatic breakup. Still, before ending it, sorting the sore points through both people's eyes makes for a choice you won't regret.